What a Dad! (oh, and um, you too Mom)

As I mentioned here, I was a feminist before I was a Dad. In fact, I'm not even a Dad yet. Sarah's due date was yesterday and we're really just waiting. And waiting. So what better time for some ruminations on the near future?

Last week this great editorial ran in the Chicago Tribune called "What a Dad!" It's all about the undue attention that fathers get for doing none other than taking care of their children. I suppose that I should expect this surprised encouragement from folks at Starbucks when I arrive, my baby in its Bjorn. This does bother me, but what concerns me more is the adverse attention that moms get.

The April 2007 issue of sociology journal Gender & Society featured an article by Linda Blum on the mother-blame/mother-virtue dichotomy. She finds increased self-blame among mothers of children with invisible (social, emotional, behavioral) disabilities. This is no thanks to caring professionals, who do not blame mothers for the disability, but do expect "concerted cultivation" in order to resolve them. As a result Blum states, "mothers raising invisibly disabled kids may represent the model of maternal valor for an era of public stinginess and extensive medicalization."

Unfortunately for moms, achieving such mother-virtue (in this case as a result of a maternal speedup) does not win any prizes. If children with invisible disabilities continue to exhibit traits of their disability, they must not be doing enough for that child.

This is partly about disabilities, but more importantly about the expectations we put on our mothers. Meanwhile, Dad gets a pat on the back for taking Baby to the coffee shop.